Feeling crazy vs. being crazy. There are definitely days when I forget there's a difference.
But I'm sane enough to know if I just count to ten, my "whirled" spins back into my "world."
It's taken a while for me to have that confidence. That's why I am less fearful of the bakery's commotion, not that I don't appreciate the calm. I embrace the buzz of business...
I can see a stack of orders pile up... and then watch another stack of "changed" orders pile up next to that. The familiar sound of boxes quickly being opened, baked goods being counted and masking tape seal everything shut is the white noise that competes with my morning dose of NPR and my morning coffee.
Every time I look at my printer, another label is coming out. That only stops because the toner cartridge needs changing. The minute I step away from my desk, my phone lights up like the Manhattan skyline. I see deliveries go out, and yet...I'm sure my eyes are playing tricks on me. When are we gonna catch up? When can I write an email without all this hubbub around me? I know it's always 5 o'clock somewhere, but is it still considered a lunch break when it's dark out?
Then I breathe and remember— it's my business that's all around me, even when it feels up to my neck. I created this activity. This is what hopes and dreams look like and sound like. What I'm hearing is the energy of all my best laid plans. That realization centers me. Like a great wave to a surfer, I swim directly into it. Let it lift me up and ride it to shore. Yes, it is an odd metaphor for a city boy. But I do live on an island, so....
Right now, the bakery is going through a major growth spurt. How can I call it growing "pains?" Not when they're my biggest dreams come to life.
Our treats have met up with more customers than a few sold-out Madonna concerts. True, there is uncertainty with every leap but still, nothing about that sounds painful. Just exciting and challenging. I know I'm lucky. I also know how hard I work everyday to keep my bakery life exciting and challenging.
Instead of letting fear and doubt take over, I take a breath, I take a moment and then I can't help but smile. I have to enjoy what life has to offer. Mix in some chaos, I don't care. It's the small price of coming to work at The Protein Bakery every day.
If I still feel overwhelmed, I ask for help. This is where my sanity appears. Wisdom + age + more wisdom. From my amazing and amazingly sharp staff, my stellar friends and family. I like living on an island, but I do not need to be one.
My life and my business life...I'd be crazy not to love it all.